Hi! I'm Surinna, date me!

I'm Surinna, a polyamorous pan trans fairy princess who breaks software for a living. If I sent you here, possibly I would like you to become someone I flirt with, or someone I date, or someone I make out with, or something like that. If you ended up here without targeted direction from me, I still might like you to become one of those things.

Basic biographical information

I'm transgender and non-binary. I'm a fairy princess currently. When I was born, everyone thought I was a boy. They turned out to have been wrong, though frankly I still don't have a clear, confident theory as to what the heck gender is. I spent many years dealing with a lot of gender dysphoria. Eventually I realized this, and I began to transition in various ways. A lot of the dysphoria went away. Use fae/faere/faese pronouns for me (examples), or gender-neutral pronouns.

My name is Surinna. I wasn't born with it. Please do not ask what name I was born with, thank you. I chose it. I chose it once when I was perhaps 12 or 13 years old, creating a female character on an online roleplaying game I played. I unchose it a few hours later when I freaked out over the fear that I couldn't convincingly role-play a female character. I chose it a second time in early 2016 when I decided to transition. After all, it was the first name I ever used when representing myself as a woman, however briefly. And I liked the sound. Its pronunciation is fairly straightforward: the "u" is pronounced like the "oo" in "good", the "i" like in "mittens", the "a" as in "aloud", and the primary stress is placed on the "rin" syllable. If you want to abbreviate it, I am okay with any of Sur, Suri, and Rinna, with srn in textual contexts, and possibly with others. I also have a few other names that I sometimes use and don't mind people sometimes referring to me with, including Aleissi, Seloi, and Callan.

I am pan. I am potentially attracted to people no matter their physical sexed characteristics or gender identity or lack thereof or such. I am aware that people who identify as bi do not typically limit their interests to two genders or sets of sex characteristics. I still prefer to think of myself as pan. I do have trends in my attraction which sometimes relate to gendered stuff. I still prefer to think of myself as pan.

I am polyamorous and kind of a relationship anarchist. What that means in my case is that I'm not monogamous, that I don't worry much about categorizing or labelling my relationships with the people dear to me, that I try not to make demands or impose restrictions on the people dear to me, that I'm not looking for demands or restrictions to be imposed on me, but that I am willing to agree to things and ask the people in my life to agree to things that will help the other, will make them happier or less stressed or such. Any potential romantic/sexual partner of mine will have to be okay with that to stop being merely potential. I am engaged to Sofi, a wonderful and lovely non-binary porteñe who's trained me to reflexively respond to particularly clever or particularly terrible wordplay with "I love you". I have other relationships but they're shifting or amorphous and vague or I haven't ask them if I can mention them here.

I work for a company doing application security consulting work. Other companies pay my employer to pay me to find security flaws in their software/networks/etc. and to document the flaws I have found for them. I typically can't talk about who our clients are or what we find. Sometimes I do security research on publicly-available software or systems in legally-permitted ways. Sometimes in the course of that research I find flaws; sometimes I disclose those flaws to the creators of those systems. Sometimes I program things, but mostly things that don't matter to anyone, at least outside of work.

Notable personal characteristics and behaviors

I seek to be kind. I am often meek. I tend to express my thoughts with lots of qualifiers like "I think", "it seems to me", "as far as I can tell", and others. This is because I am uncertain about a great many things, and I think it's more helpful to the listener or reader of the things I say to be clear about how certain I am about the things I say.

I'm really shy! I probably want to interact socially with you at least four times as much as I actually do. I am particularly bad at initiating interactions and starting conversations. This is all becoming a little less true now thanks to transition making me happier and more self-confident, but it's still true for now.

I really really really really like rice!! Rice is the way to this fairy's heart!! Okay it won't actually get you my heart in itself. But still, cook me rice imo.

Queer elaboration

The three orientation-related terms I'm most comfortable with are "pan", "queer", and "gay" (used non-specifically). This is because I don't want to define some limited domain to which my attraction is confined. "Pan" is my preferred term because it's the most explicit about this; "queer" and "gay" work because they are inclusive of a variety of orientations and therefore specify little, but "pan" limits itself to those orientations which, like mine, avoid constraining themselves.

Fun links

These are just some links to things I found interesting or enjoyable:


Gô Shoemake, known haver of good taste in HTML, said that an earlier version of this page had p. cute HTML. Since saying this, Gô started dating me for a while; whether this is a disclaimer or additional endorsement is left to the reader's judgement.

Contacting me

I can be found communicating at several places on the internet:

I can also be reached via email.


A possibly partial and certainly summary list of changes to this page: